Title: Jayne's Gun
Author: Eleanor K.
Notes: Thanks to Dani for the plot idea and for audiencing.
The alarm was louder than the proximity alarm on Serenity. It woke
Jayne up from a dead sleep--or maybe what had woken him was Mal
smacking him repeatedly on the back of the head.
"Get the fuck off me. You weigh a solid ton."
"Whassat?" Jayne mumbled. "Who's going on?"
"We're going on downstairs if you'll get yourself off of me."
Jayne grunted and rolled off, suddenly glad Mal had made them clean
up last night. Waking up stuck together in the morning and getting
in the shower was one thing. Rolling out of bed sudden-like and
losing pubes in the process wasn't a fun thought for--
"What the hell time is it?"
--for three in the ruttin' morning.
Gorram ruttin' morning. When Jayne found out who set the place afire,
he was going to have a serious talk with them. He might take Vera
along just to show how serious he was.
Speaking of which.
Mal was sitting up and pulling his boots on. Jayne still had his
on from the night before, despite Mal's whinging over his wearing
them in their wedding bed. It wasn't like they'd been married *in*
the damn thing. And he'd shined his boots up real good for the ceremony.
Good thing he'd kept 'em on, too. Now he had time to get his guns
together before they left.
"What the hell are you doing, Jayne?"
"Just getting my stuff. Keep your britches on." He glanced back,
leering. "Or take 'em off. Ain't gonna bother me none."
"Two, Jayne. You can take two. No normal person needs more than
that, so try and pretend you are one and let's get out of here before
we end up crispy crittered."
Jayne looked through his trunk, Vera in his hand. He pulled out
the sawed off and the old Remington...but then there was the Bostock
12 gauge...and the sidekick Wash had gotten him for a wedding present,
"I can't pick, Mal. You go on."
Mal grabbed his arm, stuffed the Remington down the front of Jayne's
pants, and pulled him out the door.
"Dammit! What about the sawed off at least?" He struggled, but Mal's
fingers were digging into him in that captainy way that said now
was not a good time to cross him. And there had been that whole
love, honor, and obey thing besides...
"Two, Jayne. The one in your hand plus the one down your pants makes
two. You're lucky I ain't counting the one *in* your pants."
It took a damn long while to climb down thirty flights of stairs,
and Jayne was starting to think he'd die of boredom before the fire
got them, especially since he didn't so much as catch a whif of
smoke on the way down. Outside was better. The air was cool, there
were pretty girls in thin nighties and guys in not much more than
their skin, and people were giving him and Vera a wide berth, which
was as it should be.
Mal took his hand and tugged him around the side of the building,
into an alley.
"Don't wave that thing around. Neither of us are getting arrested
on our honeymoon. I mean it."
"Sure, Mal. Ain't planning on it."
"Being arrested isn't something you plan on. Just be careful."
Jayne leaned against the wall. "Was tryin' to be careful. Well armed
"And don't pout."
"Are so--dammit, Jayne. It's not like I made you leave Vera."
"Some of those was presents."
"And don't think I didn't appreciate you registering at Joe-Bob
Chang's Gun Emporium, but didn't you have enough *before* the wedding?"
"That's like saying we got enough money."
Mal looked like he was thinking that over for a while, and finally
"Some things you can't have too much of, I guess."
"Damn right. Money. Guns..." He knew there was at least one more.
Smart guy, Mal. Good reason for tying the knot with him right there.
He thought about things, and when he thought about sex, he usually
had good thoughts.
Like right now, he was walking Jayne back until the alley wall stopped
him and he had Mal all pressed up against the front of him, breathing
hot on his neck, knee nudging his thighs apart.
"Still pouting?" Mal asked.
"And here I was gonna offer to make you feel better."
"I think you were," Mal said, sinking to his knees. "Just a little."
"Maybe... Aw hell..."
Mal had his pants open and halfway down his thighs, licking across
his dick through his boxers.
Jayne's hips twitched forward. He wound one hand in Mal's hair and
set Vera carefully against the wall. He didn't know what had happened
to the Remington. Mal must've done something or other with it, but
now he was sucking, wetting cotton and dragging it across Jayne's
hardening cock, and Jayne wasn't worrying about his other gun any
His hand clamped tight around Vera's barrel, the other trying not
to pull Mal's hair. He heard the fire alarm still blaring in the
distance, but it seemed a damn long way off. His blood rang in his
ears, and the slurps and sucks and wet noises Mal made were all
that got through to his brain.
Then Mal pulled down his boxers.
Cool air on his hot dick, wet from Mal's mouth and from the liquid
leaking from the tip. Jayne couldn't help it and didn't really try.
He leaned his head back against the wall and moaned.
"Yesu, Mal, don't stop..."
Mal didn't stop, even to answer. He licked once up the shaft and
then took Jayne all the way in, down his throat, lips closed tight
around the base. So sudden and hot, Jayne almost screamed. He bit
his tongue, and a strangled gurgle came out instead. His hand left
Mal's hair to scrabble at the brick wall behind him, looking for
something to hang onto.
Mal's nails dug into his hip, urging him forward, and he took the
hint. It would've been nice to last, but it was too public, too
goddamn hot, and Mal was sucking him like he'd never get another
chance. Jayne couldn't hold on. He fucked Mal's mouth for a few
more seconds and then came, white behind his eyes, sliding down
the wall almost before Mal could back off.
Mal sat back on his heels and licked his lips. "Feeling better?"
"Wha... Um..." He took a deep breath and let it out. "Fuck, Mal.
Holy fucking hell."
Mal leaned in and kissed him. "Up. Alarm's off. Time to go back
up to that nice big bed and get sticky again."
Mal zipped up his pants for him, patting his crotch.
"I like your guns, Jayne. Every last one of them."
Jayne took his hand and let himself be pulled to his feet. He leaned
against Vera, knees still a little weak. He figured marrying Mal
was about the smartest thing he'd done yet.