Author: Eleanor K.
Fandom: Blade of the Immortal
Summary: Apologies without contrition
Disclaimer: Hiroaki Samura own them, and I, sadly, do not.
Notes: This was done for a Livejournal meme where people pick one
of your icons and you write a ficlet based on it. Here's the icon
"I'm sorry," Anotsu says.
It's all he can say. It wasn't an accident. He did
mean to. He's not even sure he's sorry, but he has to say something.
Magatsu narrows his eyes and rubs the bruise growing on his jaw.
It's red now, but darkening. Much like Magatsu's expression. He
eases his mask up over his chin, and Anotsu is just as glad not
to look at it anymore.
"What the fuck was that?"
Anotsu turns away. He can't answer. He'll sound like a fool if he
Magatsu's hand is on his wrist, and then there's an arm around him,
jerking him back. He tries to pull away, but feebly. A tug on his
wrist, a squeeze at his waist keep him where he is.
"Don't," Magatsu says. "I'm not taking this from you, Kagehisa.
I'll take a lot, but I won't take this."
"Let go of me."
"I could," Anotsu says.
He can feel Magatsu's breath on his neck.
"It won't happen again."
"Not good enough." Magatsu's hand creeps inside his robes. Nails
dig into the bare skin of his stomach. "What's going on in your
"I don't know."
"Like hell you don't," Magatsu says calmly.
There are so many things he could say. He could find the right words,
if he tried. Reasoned and logical and unarguable. There are words,
even for this.
"It's your fault," is what he says instead, sounding sullen enough
to make himself cringe.
"How's it my fault?"
Nails scratch lightly across his skin, distracting him. Then the
hand leaves him to lift his hair away from his neck and smooth it
over one shoulder. His neck is left bare to warm breath and light
"Stop it," Anotsu says. "I can't..."
"Can't think when you do that."
Magatsu doesn't stop.
"You don't need to think to tell the truth. You only need to think
to make shit up."
"I need to think if I'm going to find a way to explain myself that
doesn't involve a broken nose."
"Maybe I'll hit you anyway. You hit me."
Hand at his waist again, pulling him tighter against Magatsu's body,
captive. He could make Magatsu let him go. He doesn't dare. What
he's done already is bad enough.
"I wanted to hurt you," he hears himself say.
"I got that. Why?"
He shakes his head.
Wrist twisted up behind his back in a sudden move that he makes
no attempt to resist. Strain on his shoulder and elbow. Then Magatsu
lets go and pushes him away.
"Tell me when you're fucking ready then. You know where to find
They were talking. Magatsu brought up his fight with Manji, living
it over, blow by blow, light in his eyes, hands moving through the
air in illustration. Anotsu said...something. Something stupid.
He can't remember what. There was no thought involved.
Magatsu said that if he really meant that, maybe he should be fucking
Manji instead. Or maybe one of them should. Two seconds later, Anotsu's
fist connected with Magatsu's jaw. His hand still hurts.
"You know why," he says, desperate now.
Magatsu stops in the doorway. Turns back and keeps coming until
he has Anotsu backed against the wall, hands on either side of his
face, a hundred different kinds of heat in his eyes.
"Then fucking tell me. Fucking say it. I'll put up with a lot of
your shit, but not this. I'm nobody's whipping boy, Kagehisa. Not
"I can't think about you with anyone but me." He closes his eyes
to say it.
"Almost," Magatsu says, like stone, like steel. "Not quite."
The silence between them gives the air weight and heft. Dust motes
spinning in the sunshine like planetary bodies, bird song like a
battle cry. Magatsu's hips thrust forward, pinning him in place.
"I need you," Anotsu says.
If there was the slightest softening in the word, he might have
resisted. He's pushed Magatsu too far this time.
"Love you," he whispers. It's defeat and victory at once. Not the
first time he's said it or even the tenth, but Magatsu always has
to drag it out of him.
"Say it with your eyes open this time. Say it like you're not ashamed
of me for once."
He blinks, opens his eyes. Looks at Magatsu's face.
"I have never been ashamed of you." He doesn't need to think. The
words will come on their own if he lets them, always there, always
waiting. This time he lets them out. "You are the best part of me.
My heart and my soul, safe in your keeping. Without you, I would
He watches with something like fear as Magatsu's eyes fill with
tears. They are quickly blinked away, but no less real for that.
He lets Magatsu kiss him, rough and tender at the same time, leans
into it, touches Magatsu's face and the wet trail on one cheek.
After everything he's put Magatsu through, it took this to make